February 27, 2009

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Headline of the day

Tom Tancredo says Jindal's speech was "the last nail in his coffin" for the presidency. And if anyone knows about a dead presidential campaign, it's whoever that guy is.

-- from fark.com.

More like this, please

Chris Matthews, Barney Frank rip Darrell Issa a new one for using the term "Democrat" Party, being a shameless, bloviating fuckwipe --

Matthews: Well, I think the Democratic Party calls itself the Democratic Party, not the Democrat Party. Do we have to do this every night? Why do people talk like this? Is this just fighting words to get the name wrong?

Issa: This isn't intended to be fighting words.

Matthews: They call themselves the Democratic Party. Let's just call people what they call themselves and stop the uh, the Mickey Mouse here. Save that for the stump -- seriously.

Issa: Chris, Chris.

Matthews: Now let's get to the issue here, seriously we've got a fiscal challenge. I want to go back to Congressman Frank and to some English here. Congressman Frank are you worried about the size of these WWII numbers here? Again, 1.75 trillion deficit this year. A spending level of almost 4 trillion. We're almost running deficits as big as the revenue number we're bringing in.

Frank: Well Chris let me first of all come to the defense of my colleague Mr. Issa and the Republicanistical Party that he represents...

Issa: Thanks, Barney.

Frank: You're welcome there Darrell. The point is this. For him to say "oh these are the Democrat's deficits"... I have never seen people disavow their own handiwork so quickly. And I knew that born again was an important strain in our society but born again deficit haters, it's a new version.

Sweet.

Just go away

Norm Coleman: Maybe we need a do-over election.
Rest of the country: Maybe you need to STFU already, you fucking loser. Jeebus.

Repuglican values

Judd Gregg, who cut and run from a cabinet position because his "conservative principles" wouldn't allow him to support the president's economic policies, personally took home hundreds of thousands of dollars from earmarks.

President Barack Obama's former nominee to become commerce secretary, Judge Dredd, steered taxpayer money to his home state's redevelopment of a former Air Force base even as he and his brother engaged in real estate deals there, an investigation found.

Gregg, R-N.H., personally has invested hundreds of thousands of dollars in Cyrus Gregg's office projects at the Pease International Tradeport, a Portsmouth business park built at the defunct Pease Air Force Base, once home to nuclear bombers. Judd Gregg has collected at least $240,017 to $651,801 from his investments there, Senate records show, while helping arrange at least $66 million in federal aid for the former base his new piece of property.

Uh-huh.

Tax-cheating conservatard's book signing draws massive crowd of 11

Samuel "Joe the Plumber vestigial tail" Wurzelbacher held court in a DC Borders last night to hawk his new book, "Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the American Dream,"* but only eleven people showed up.

[O]nly a few stayed afterward to get their copies signed. Wurzelbacher was scheduled to speak and sign books for three hours, but the Joe Show was over in 55 minutes. Total copies of "Joe the Plumber" sold: five.

So what's next for the unlicenced plumber? Well, when he's not speaking at conservative circlejerks, he'll be doing unlicenced construction. Bonus:

Wurzelbacher says he's still no fan of Obama, but confessed that he never liked McCain all that much, either.

Sigh.


*If the American dream is to not have an actual job, not pay your taxes, and live off the pathetic petulance of a party of losers, well, yeah.

Former first lady adapts to new life

As full-time zonked-out stoner.

Zoned to the gills on Xanax and Fritos, Pickles Stepford says she didn't watch President Barack Obama's speech to Congress because "I just totally forgot about it."

Commercial airline travel with cootie-infested peons, trips to the hardware store for nightlights and countless visits to the liquor store – all part of everyday life these days for Tipsy McStaggers and his wife, and the detail of Secret Service agents assigned to protect them.

-- from Jonathan Karl's adorable little puff-piece (mostly), written from the Bush mansion in an opulent, gated community in an exclusive section of Dallas.

Always-wrong columnist maintains perfect record

Again! Neocon hack Bill Kristol, who's been wrong about absolutely everything, says the GOP should "obstruct and delay." Because there aren't enough people hurting these days.

They should do their best not to permit Obama to rush his agenda through this year. Slow down the policy train. Insist on a real and lengthy debate. Conservatives can't win politically right now. But they can raise doubts, they can point out other issues that we can't ignore (especially in national security and foreign policy), they can pick other fights -- and they can try in any way possible to break Obama's momentum. Only if this happens will conservatives be able to get a hearing for their (compelling, in my view) arguments against big-government, liberal-nanny-state social engineering -- and for their preferred alternatives.

What, more tax cuts for the rich? Yes, the same party that ran this country into the ground for the past eight years are now suggesting we need more of the same. Either that, or do absolutely NOTHING. Wow. How totally irresponsible! What a patriot!

A commenter writes

Billy wants to debate? Where was the conservative debate when his party rushed us into a three-trillion dollar war based on lies? Where was the debate when this crew gave away the banks and real estate? Why does it take Billy a whole column to say what Rush says in a few words? “I want Obama to fail.”

The Washington Post should follow the lead of the NY Times and dump this rubbish master into the nearest trash can.

Dude.

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A Popular Rising Star.........

.....in the Republic party

About 11 people wandered into the rows of seats set up hopefully in the basement of a downtown Border's bookstore to hear Joe speak. Joe addressed them from behind a lectern and with a microphone, but that seemed unnecessarily formal.

Wurzelbacher was scheduled to speak and sign books for three hours, but the Joe Show was over in 55 minutes. Total copies of "Joe the Plumber" sold: five.

Of course, being an average guy that is so wildy popular is going to take a toll on his bright future as an unlicensed plumber:
Plumbing? Not happening. "I show up on a plumbing job and the first thing someone's going to say is 'Joe the Plumber didn't do the job right,' " he said. "The next thing you know, it's on the national news. It would be naive to go back to it."
Now how could anybody think that a tax dodging, unlicensed shit clog cleaner do a bad job? How socialist!
15 . . . 14:59 . . . 14:58 . . .

CPAC agenda: "Joe" the taxcheating fake plumber to advise young conservaturds as panelist

This year's conservative political action conference (CRAP) is underway in DC and it's hot hot hot!

This year, Cheney and Bush are off the agenda, replaced by ghosts of the campaign trail like Sammy Wurzelbacher and mocumentarian John Ziegler, who has been making the rounds to restore Sarah Palin's self-imposed media debacle with his latest lie-filled crap-fest, "Media Malpractice: How Palin Was Targeted Simply Because She Opened Her Stupid Fucking Yap-hole." And of course impotent junkie Rush Limbaugh will be there as the biggest draw.

Is he buying or selling?

The rethuglican Taliban, classy as always

No-talent assclown John Bolton jokes about Chicago getting nuked in a terrorist attack, and the entire CPAC audience erupts in cheers and laughter.

Hmph. You know what else would be funny? If those pants-jizzing asswads at CPAC all caught the clap before dying in fiery plane crashes on their way back home. What a thigh-slapper.

Limbaugh to convene a 'female summit' to figure out why hos and castrating feminazis hate him

When a new poll comes out showing most women think he's a vile sack of shit, hateful misogynist Rush Limbaugh gets all verklempt:

"We’ll have a summit of all the women in this audience — or as many of them as we can get into breakout groups — and perhaps devote an hour in an upcoming program to calls only from women who genuinely want to talk to me. They can be liberal, conservative. They could be non-audience members, could be audience members. But I want some of these women to start telling me what it is I must do to close the gender gap — or, if not what it is I must do to close the gender gap, what it is I’ve done that has caused the gender gap; assuming the gender gap is true and that the poll is true.

"I own the men, what must I do now to own women?"

Don't get me started. Oh, I don't know. Can a racist, sexist, child-abusing pig really "own" women? Especially a repulsive, bloated, egotistical scumbag like him? I think not.

February 26, 2009

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Conservatards say the darndest things

And by that I mean "lie through their teeth." When Dem Rep. Joe Sestak confronts Faux News' Sean Hannity with the truth, Hannity does the only thing a conservaturd can do: invoke the Clenis©:

Hannity: The stimulus bill has 9,000 earmarks.
Congressman: Name one.
Hannity: Salt marsh mice! ATVs! High-speed rail lines to Vegas!
Congressman: Sean, those words are absolutely not in the bill, and you know it.
Hannity: You hid them all.
Congressman: Sean, you're misleading the public.
Hannity: But... but... Clinton!

Congratulations. Your life continues to be a tiny, dim beacon of douchebaggery. You verminous twat.

I was a teenage demon-beater

I was also an exorcist. Brady Bunch fanboy, loony Catholic zealot, goat-fucker: the secret past of Piyush "Bobby Hussein" Jindal.

Bonus: Not so fast, mister closet heathen. Party rival Sarah Palin, fuming at Jindal's evident glee that she may be consumed in the next (unmonitored!) explosion of Alaska's volcano, sics some of her good Catholic followers on him, smearing Jindal as a "secret Hindu."

Onus: Good luck with that. Bestial, Viagra-popping lardass Rush Limpbaugh is threatening to crush repukes like grapes if they even think of messin' with his widdle Bobster:

LIMBAUGH: “I love Bobby Jindal... [T]he people on our side are really making a mistake if they go after Bobby Jindal on the basis of style. Because if you think — people on our side I’m talking to you — those of you who think Jindal was horrible, you think — in fact, I don’t ever want to hear from you ever again."

As one poster commented, Rush loves the guy because he "reminds you of those underage Dominican boy prostitutes you frequent, right, Rush?"

Americans erupt over repug's ignorant 'volcano' comment

Why does Piyush Jindal want us to die a fiery, lava-covered death? Paul Krugman:

The intellectual incoherence is stunning. Basically, the political philosophy of the GOP right now seems to consist of snickering at stuff that they think sounds funny. The party of [no] ideas has become the party of Beavis and Butthead.

Heh heh -- he said "butt."

February 25, 2009

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Fun Stuff

  • Smiley faces over London
  • Bacon jerky. Mmmmlllrrrrmmmm!
  • ♩ Fish heads, fish heads, transparent weird-ass fish heads... ♩

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    Bipartisanshit

    Byron York at the dcineedmyheadexamineder:


    "I just got off the phone with a very plugged-in Republican strategist who told me that Republican reaction to President Obama's speech, which the party will roll out in the next few days, will mark the beginning of a new GOP approach to opposing the president's initiatives.

    You know, shit like this is why I'll never stop making ralphing noises whenever I see this assclown's name. He adds:

    "(No, Bobby Jindal's ineffective response was not part of that new approach -- everyone seems a little embarrassed about that.):

    Just one more thing you conservatards should be embarrassed about.


    Yorrrrrrrrk!

    "Barf alert" from freeretardia

    Today, some America-hating RINO actually compares "the Kenyan" to Saint Ronnie of Reagan --

    'Reagan-esque:' Obama wins over skeptics with optimism, leadership on banks -

    Joe Brusuelas, director of market economics for Moody's Economy.com, gives Obama high marks for such "Reagan-esque" moments. More surprisingly for an economist who publicly supported John McCain, Brusuelas also applauded Obama for showing "leadership" on the vexing issue of how to resolve the banking crisis.

    Barf! Because it'll be worth having the economy continue its slide down the crapper leaving us in a worldwide depression if it makes Obama look bad.


    Above: typical freeper.

    Always-wrong columnist maintains perfect record

    World's greatest political mind... oh fuck it. Neocon hack Bill Kristol thinks Obama didn't mention "war" enough last night, or even try all that hard to scare the bejeebus out of America by mentioning the possibility of another 9/11.

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    The Response to Bobby's Response

    Quote of the day

    538's Nate Silver on Piyush "Bobby Hussein" Jindal's rebooblican response to last night's non-SOTU by President Obama:

    "If it sounds like Jindal is targeting his speech to a room full of fourth graders, that's because he is. They might be the next people to actually vote for Republicans again."

    Bonus quote from a reader at The Atlantic:

    "That was like watching Will Smith vs. Urkle ... Who do you think the American people are going to listen to?"

    Zoink!! Double bonus, from fark.com:

    Bobby Jindal: why is Obama wasting money on "volcano monitoring?" USGS: because 1,000,000 people including 30,000 US military personnel live in the blast radius, smartass

    Why does Piyush hate our troops? And why does he hate his own constituents?

    Hi, member me? Ah used tuh be th' preznit!

    Already missing the adulation of hairy-knuckled booger-eating yahoos, Drinky McDumbass decides to don his preznental superhero dive-bomber action jacket and wow the little folks down at the corner store.

    [C]ustomers arriving for an organic gardening class — and even store employees — were surprised Saturday when the [former Boy King] showed up to, um, shop. According to the store, Bush walked in around 11 a.m. wearing his presidentin’ outfit: a bomber jacket with the presidential seal on the left breast and his name on the right. Accompanied by a small Secret Service detail, Bush signed autographs and posed for photos.

    Look, maw! That no-talent prick was here! Says so on his jacket! And he didn't even buy anything, the cheap bastid!

    Gah!

    Metric buttload of groups requesting special prosecutor for Bush, Cheney

    A special prosecutor with long, sharp pointy teeth!

    "We see no need for these prosecutions to be extraordinarily lengthy or costly, and no need to wait for the recommendations of a panel or "truth" commission when substantial evidence of the crimes is already in the public domain. We believe the most effective investigation can be conducted by a prosecutor, and we believe such an investigation should begin immediately."

    Amen to that.

    Repug tired of party leaders' crap

    GOP governor, speaking at the Center for the Blatantly Apparent, says the Congressional republican leadership is 'inconsequential':

    "Their fathers were relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owners from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery..."

    The Republican governor of Utah on Monday said his party is blighted by leaders in Congress whose lack of new ideas renders them so "inconsequential" that he doesn't even bother to talk to them.

    "I don't even know the congressional leadership," Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr. said, shrugging off questions about top republicans, including weepy obstructionist cumbucket John Boehner and pudfaced nincompoop Mitch McConnell. "I have not met them. I don't listen or read whatever it is they say because it is inconsequential - completely."

    He said congressional repukes failed to score political points for opposing the bill because the public saw them as objecting to Democrats rather than as taking a principled stand.

    "As if. They wouldn't know 'principled' if it came up and bit them in the ass," he should have added.

    Just Words

    Why does America hate America?

    Sixty-eight percent of speech-watchers questioned in a CNN/Opinion Research Corp. survey said they had a very positive reaction, with 24 percent indicating that they had a somewhat positive response and 8 percent saying they had a negative reaction.
    92% positive, 8% overdosing on kool aid. Suck on THAT, Rethugs.

    Palin's evangelical base slaps down Bristol

    But even more telling is hearing the sound of crickets, rather than the whining of 'gotcha questions from the America-hating drive-by media.'

    [O]nly weeks after Sarah Palin said "leave my kids alone," her biggest "news" promoter, Van Susteren, sneaks into Alaska behind Palin's back for a ratings-grabbing interview with Bristol. And then a conservative Christian group goes after her daughter.

    Where's Palin's vituperative comeback at Van Susteren or the NAEA?

    Her silence says truckloads.

    Such as 'I'm a hypocritical, unhinged nutbar! You betcha!'

    Business as Usual

    Thanks for the desperately needed bailout money, suckers

    - Wednesday, Northern Trust hosted a fancy dinner at the Ritz followed by a performance by the group Chicago.

    - Thursday, Northern Trust rented a private hangar at the Santa Monica Airport for dinner, followed by a performance by Earth, Wind & Fire.

    - Saturday, Northern Trust had the entire House of Blues in West Hollywood shut down for its private party. We got the menu -- guests dined on seared salmon and petite Angus filet. Dinner was followed by a performance by none other than Sheryl Crow.

    There was also a fabulous cocktail party at the Loews. And how's this for a nice touch: Female guests at the Chicago concert all got trinkets from ... TIFFANY AND CO.

    Northern Trust gave us a statement yesterday before going total radio silence. A rep for the bank acknowledges they paid for the events, but that the bailout money did not pay for the events. He claims it was paid out of the bank's operating expenses

    Suuurrrrrre, dickweed. These fucktwits are pissing me off. And they have their crusty panties in a wad because some welfare queen might eat steak.
    How fucked we are.

    February 24, 2009

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    Change we can believe in

    Proposed Calif. bill to legalize pot would generate more than $1 billion in taxes, not to mention cause a boom in the snack food industry

    -- headline from fark.com

    RNC Chair is down on layin' the smack on the wack crack jacks, yo

    Michael Steele says he's open to punishing GOP "defectors" Snowe, Collins, and Specter for actually trying to aid their constituents and country rather than their pathetic party of partisan, obstructionist pricks.

    And their impotent, psycho hosebeast junkie leader Mr Limbaugh.


    Vid from Fux Nooze is at something called thehopeforamerica.com.

    Life sucks when you're this guy

    Now that he's not going to get to fly in it, Mr. Crankyass McPoopersons sharply questions President Obama on the cost of the new Marine One helicopter.


    Above: Sen. John McCain, R-Codger, sits all butthurt during the Fiscal Responsibility Summit hosted by US President Barack Obama. That's Barack Obama, the fucking President of the United States, loser. Heh.

    Obama derangement syndrome

    The silent killer.

    Heh. If only. From Eric Boehlert's 'Unhinged in 30 Days: The Right-Wing Media's Obama Era Implosion':

    The Republican Noise Machine doesn't need the customary 100 days to size up the new president. Right-wing commentators barely needed 30 days to come to their conclusion that they hate everything Barack Obama stands for.

    It's astounding to watch the avalanche of hate ooze from conservative media quarters. And why? Because Obama passed an economic recovery bill. Good Lord, imagine if he had failed to win the popular vote and then led the country into a pre-emptive war based on faulty intelligence, a war that lost thousands of American lives, and tens of thousands of foreign lives, while milking the U.S. treasury out of a few trillion dollars in the process.

    Oh, snap!

    The Obama disdain, though, is being unleashed against a president with extraordinarily high job approval ratings, which highlights how the Noise Machine remains completely out of touch with mainstream America.

    Ahhhh... but conservaturd tears are so sweet... sweet and precious and so, so yumminiferous.

    Hyperventilating rethug gasbag: "pardon me while I eat my own foot!"

    In yet another example of conservative mental and moral midgetry, Republican hack John Feehery, spouting Rush Limbaugh 'porculus' talking points, pwns himself --

    NORAD O'DONNELL: John, you were just here squirming in your chair as the President was speaking. What's the big deal?

    JOHN FEEHERY: Well, he passed the biggest, pork-filled stimulus, whatever you want to call it, bill in history and now you're talking about fiscal responsibility [blah, blah, blah] but they go first with this huge pork bill...

    O'DONNELL: Name one piece of pork, you simpleminded twit.

    JOHN FEEHERY: Ummm, ummm, blah blah errrr, you can't do that to me right now. I can't think of it right now. But it was filled, huge, bunch of stuff that we don't even know what's in there.

    You know, stuff! That I just pulled right out of my ass! 'Cause we don't know if it even exists! From dKos tv:


    Doooooooouche.

    Conservatards say the darndest things

    From the Gpukes' "If we say something often enough, maybe it'll come true/people will believe it!" files: John Hindrocket's powerloon blog passes around the kool-aid to its legions of knuckle-dragging dittoheads:

    As I noted earlier this evening, the American public is showing virtually no confidence in the economic measures that have been implemented or advocated by the Obama administration.

    Oh really. That's funny, because back on planet Earth...

    The NYT:

    President Obama is benefiting from high levels of confidence among Americans about his leadership, according to the latest New York Times/CBS News poll. A majority of people surveyed in both parties said Mr. Obama was striving to work in a bipartisan way, but most Americans faulted Republicans for their response to the president.

    MSNBC:

    Large majorities of Americans support President Barack Obama's plans to revive the economy and his efforts to work across party lines, according to a pair of public opinion polls released Monday.

    The WaComPo:

    64 percent of those polled back the economic recovery package and the same percentage backs the mortgage proposal. Overall, 60 percent of poll respondents approve of how he is dealing with the economy.

    Had enough yet? No? Good:

    Head-to-head, though, Americans are putting far more faith in Obama than in congressional Republicans: 61 percent said they trust Obama more than the GOP when it comes to economic matters, just 26 percent side with the Republicans in Congress. Obama's advantage on that question is bigger than George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, or George H.W. Bush ever had over the opposition party in the legislature on dealing with the economy.

    Overall, Democrats maintain a nearly 2 to 1 edge over Republican'ts as the party Americans prefer to confront "the big issues" over the next few years.

    Suck it, pukes.

    Spreading the Wealth, Rethuglican Style

    Booman expounds, I copy and paste.

    The truth is that the conservative economic policies that have dominated the last 30 years or so hasn't resulted in shared prosperity, but in greater disparity and greater concentration of wealth.
    And there's great danger in that.
    Blunt truth. Much more at the link.

    February 23, 2009

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    Headlines we'd like to see

    Ruth Ginsburg returned to the Supreme Court Monday, after cockpunching miserable republican asshat Sen. Jim Bunning

    Norm Coleman: shameless, obstructionist asswad

    Rethug loser putting himself, party over his own (former) constituents --

    It's becoming more and more clear that this is just an effort to keep Democrat Al Franken out of the Senate. Coleman is doing the national GOP's dirty work. This is now all about preventing the Democrats from getting their 59th vote in the Senate.

    Coleman is putting his partisan interests ahead of the interests of Minnesotans. While the nation is in an economic crisis, Minnesota is missing a vote in the Senate. From the Star-Tribune:

    Does Norm Coleman have a chance of winning?

    "Does the Pope shit in the woods?" asked David Scholtz, a university law professor specializing in elections, assholes.

    "Very slim," was how Duke University law Prof. Guy-Uriel Charles characterized Coleman's current chances.

    "Coleman is in a bubble running out of oxygen," said Lawrence Jacobs, a University of Minnesota political science professor.

    Coleman is a shit-bubble who should be deprived of oxygen, said cranky blogger.

    funny pictures
    moar funny pictures

    So when DID you stop beating your kid?

    Most people would begin to realize just how badly they suck when even psycho trailer-trash are offended by them. Then there's Faux Nooze's Geraldo Rivera.

    Caribou Conspiracist: 'Media targeted, tried to destroy me'

    By covering her campaign appearances, taping her interviews, reporting on her soundbites verbatim.

    As part of an interview with conservative hack circlejerker John Ziegler for his new film out this week, Wehhhh!: How the Drive-By Media Refused to Tongue-Bathe St Sarah's VP Campaign, Sarah Palin (R-Tinfoilia) said she believes the media made a decision that “we’re going to seek and we’re going to destroy this candidacy of Sarah Palin’s because of what it is that she represents.”

    “Obviously something big took place in the media,” she added. It is “very frightening, I think, what the media was able to get away with, this go around.”

    Palin suggested that unbalanced media coverage posed a threat to democracy.
    Howard "Screamin'" Dean, Al "I invented the internet" Gore, serial rapist Bill Xlintoon and his murdering lesbian wife Hitlary could not be reached for comment. Socialist commie B. HUSSEIN Osama and his Muslim baby-mama were too busy terrist fistjabbing to make a statement.

    Miserable failure's shrine to pop-up books a bust

    Drooly McDumbass's peznental lieberry is not generating any buzz on the Google --

    The web site for George Wuh? GameBoy’s presidential library foundation – GeorgeWBushLibrary.com – is falling behind in online search results for “Bush library.”

    Who’s beating him? His own dad, and some guy who owns a porn collection. Even pages mocking the former president rank higher.

    Donny Sullivan, editor-in-chief of Search Engine World, said the site -- just like the former president himself -- is “below average” and is probably failing in efforts to raise money because of its low ranking, low subject matter, and low interest in multiple well-thumbed and stained copies of "My Pet Goat."

    The lieberry's mission statement, is in part:

    [To advance] the ideals of freedom, opportunity, responsibility and compassion through study of the Bush presidency and ongoing research, discussion and scholarship. The Bush Presidential Center uniquely integrates the records of a Presidential Library and Museum, the intellectual capital of a policy institute and the resources of an independent foundation.

    To which one wag commented

    In other words, it will be a monument dedicated to WHAT NOT TO DO!

    Indeed.

    February 21, 2009

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    Iz spelled "C-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y", subhuman. Now feed me.

    Around blogtopia

  • What the Sailor said
  • The Mahablog has a great new look!
  • A new word for "asshole"
  • They're following me!! I can't stop watching the penguin doohickey at Badtux's blog
  • Baconhenge, via the Biomes Blog. Mmmmmmm...
  • Wellspoken Rolcats, via Pen-Elayne
  • Yo yo yo, uhhh, dogz
  • What you forget
  • IOKIYAR
  • DCap always makes history interesting
  • Oh, Canada!
  • Why does Rush Limbaugh hate freedom?
  • Touching pics of the Presidio pet cemetery


  • Translation: "Your inactivity is criminal, porcine gastropod…Go back to Oklahoma!"

    A moment of silence...

    For Socks, the Clintons' cat. : (

    February 20, 2009

    Has Atlantis been found off Africa?

    Or are the minions of Cthulhu just fucking with us again?

    A "grid of streets" on the seabed at one of the proposed locations of the lost city of Atlantis has been spotted on Google Ocean. The network of criss-cross lines is 620 miles off the coast of north west Africa near the Canary Islands on the floor of the Atlantic Ocean.

    The perfect rectangle – which is around the size of Wales* – was noticed on the search giant's underwater exploration tool by an aeronautical engineer who claims it looks like an "aerial map" of a city.

    * Wales is around 121 times the size of Liechtenstein, or 6.2 Rhode Island Units.

    Update: not so fast, Donovan!

    Doughy pantload: "mmmrrrrrrrll! Ffffrgh wffff nrrrgh blllrrrr!"

    "Some of my best friends are black people! Well, they would be if I actually knew any," sez basement-dwelling goober Jonah Goldberg through a mouthful of Cheetos:

    Hey, black folks, do you know any white folks? Good. OK, I want you to go up to them right now and, as politely as you can, start sharing your most deeply held racial views. Hey, white folks, you're not off the hook. I want you to go and do likewise with any black people you know. Don't want to do that? Really? Well, then, you're a coward. That's the short version of Attorney General Eric Holder's* speech this week celebrating Black History Month.

    Lawdy! What a dipshit! Wtf is this guy's problem? And how does he manage to keep getting paid for this crap?

    Disclaimer: I only was able to peruse a small portion of this steaming heap of drivel. When I tried to see the entire piece at townhell.com, it chucked me completely out of the interwebs. That's it: I'm complaining to Michael Steele.

    *Who does NOT have a bright blue scrotum. That we know of.

    GOP legislator: Sarah Palin is "Dan Quayle with a ponytail"

    Caribou Barbie needs to keep a potatoe lodged in her gob permanently, says anonymous source.

    In yet another ringing GOP endorsement for her potential as the 2012 candidate of intellectual curiosity, nuanced thinking and political competence, a fellow Alaskan Republican likens Sarah Palin to the doltish, phonics-failure of a former VP while a prominent party strategist advises her to "disappear for a while."

    Meanwhile, a commenter at the WaComPo has a simple suggestion for the beleaguered ditz:

    Between now and 2012 Sarah has time to buy a clue, but she's got a helluva lot of catching up to do. For starters, she could very quickly triple her foreign policy experience if she were to simply have breakfast at the International House of Pancakes.

    lulz

    February 19, 2009

    Dude Looks Like a Wingnut

    And I thought I was going to have start comparing them to Nugent. Aerosmith has told Republics to stop using their songs.
    Not that it will stop them.....

    THIS Ought to Work Out Well

    Rethuglican token Michael Steele says that Gods Own Party needs a hip-hop' makeover

    Newly elected Republican National Committee Chairman Michael S. Steele plans an “off the hook” public relations offensive to attract younger voters, especially blacks and Hispanics, by applying the party's principles to “urban-suburban hip-hop settings.
    Who let the dogs out? It worked out well for Mitt, didn't it?

    Whoa

    God is watching you -- and is she pissed.