And happy Caturday to YOU, subcreature. Zzzzzzzzzz...

Check out the Junk in That Trunk

Although the reaction of the Reich Wingnuts to a split second video capture is an ejaculatory spray of spooge, the Video Clears Up Obama Photo. Check it out, YOU be the judge. Even so, if Obama had been checking her out, BFD. Look at that ass.
Nicolas Sarkozy is another matter - that's a man scoping out some underage booty.

WTF's Bad Taste Theatre presents...

Hitler Finds Out He's A Joke On YouTube:


Whoever did this is a genius.

Movin' On

It seems that there is a job that Winky Failin won't get to opportunity to quit, campaigning for Rushthuglibots:

Republicans facing tough elections in 2010 don’t want Sarah Palin campaigning with them.

Though the soon-to-be-former Alaska governor is seen as popular with the conservative grass roots, several Republicans said she’d help them by staying home in Wasilla.

Scary thing is, the empty cranial cavities know as "the base" still think she is the reincarnation of combination Joan of Arc, Mother Teresa, and Ronald Reagan.

Headline of the day

"Continuing to demonstrate her brilliant political instincts, Sarah Palin gets into a media slap-fight with a 19- year old high-school dropout" -- from fark. Actual story here.


Pic courtesy of Dancin'Dave, via Sailor.

What Palin's cop-out says about McCain

Al Neuharth, USA Toady founder of all people, blasts both the ill-equipped and under-qualified Caribou Barbie and the senile old coot who picked her as his running mate:

Both are self-proclaimed "mavericks." I admire people who don't just follow the norm but look for new and better ways to do things. But when maverickism leads to irresponsible or nutty behavior, it loses me.

[T]his week, after she decided to throw in the towel as governor, McCain issued a statement that expressed his "respect and affection" for her and said he hopes "she will continue to play an important leadership role in the Republican Party." McCain should be put in this perspective:

• He ran the worst major party presidential campaign since Democrat George McGovern in 1972.

• His biggest blunder was in picking Palin.

McCain should always be remembered with gratitude for his military service in the Vietnam War. But the Republican Party might be better off if he followed Palin's example and abandoned his Arizona U.S. Senate seat.

Fuckin' redneck babydaddy: yeah, it wuz about the bucks, dude

Palin resigned to cash in on her fame, says other attention-whore.

The former fiance of Sarah Palin's 18-year-old daughter says he thinks he knows why the Alaska governor is resigning — concerns over money.

Levi "big moose" Johnston claims he heard the quitter several times say how nice it would be to quit and take advantage of the lucrative deals that were being offered, including a reality show and a book.

"I think the big deal was the book. That was millions of dollars," said Johnston, who has had a strained relationship with the family but now says things have improved.

Asked if he would vote for her if she ran for president, Johnston said: "[A]fter seeing what she did now, you know, leaving Alaska, I would have to say, 'no.' Obviously she's stressed out as governor. I mean moving up to the vice president or president is huge. I just don't think anymore that she's cut out for the job."

In other news, the strained relationship which had improved has become strained again.

Ensign: My mommy gave my mistress money

Holy shit. The sanctimonious little yutz dragged his parents into his adulterous mess, having them pay hush-money to his inamorata. What a man! Damn. What a fuckhead.

Republican Sen. John Ensign said Thursday his parents gave his mistress and her family nearly $100,000 "out of concern for the well being of longtime family friends during a difficult time."

How sweet. I'm sure there is a place in Heaven waiting for them. Disgusting.


Wehhhhh!!! Mommy! Daddy! Pwease help me!!!

Poll: Majority of Americans hate America

A new CNN/Opinion Research poll finds 70% of Americans say the president is a strong leader. 72% say he inspires confidence. 79% say rightwingnut asswipes can kiss their ass.

Rethuglican values & the sanctity of marriage

Its the gift that keeps on giving. BuzzFlash: Rebooblican Senator Ensign may have committed multiple financial felonies during an unstoppable adulterous affair, all the while professing his evangelical piety and assisted by Senator Tom Coburn, one of the two idiot Senators from Oklahoma.

[Cuckolded sap Doug] Hampton claimed that Ensign paid his shameless wife Cynthia considerably more than $25,000 in severance when she was told to leave her job with Ensign’s campaign committee in April 2008. Ensign did not report the payment, as required by law, according to a Washington watchdog group.

The allegation of the large severance payment is a serious one.

Beyond the severance claim, Hampton’s account shows Ensign as calculating and relentless in his pursuit of the affair.

Nice. His evangelical buddies must be so proud. Hey, he fessed up (after he got caught), so all is forgiven. After all, he IS a republicon.

Meanwhile, Idiot Senator Coburn, who is up to his neck in this scandal, lashed out at the media for reporting on the story:

"You've got two families that are back together and you guys are going to help tear them apart. What do you think their kids think about what you're writing right now? You're helping tear two families apart that are back together. You need to quit. It's all manipulation."

But... but... Bill Clinton!

Stormy night : Lightning illuminates the night sky of Montevideo as a thunderstorm unfolds over the Uruguayan capital.(AFP/Mariana Suarez)

The 10 biggest douchebags in TV news

Here.

Wow, right? But there has to be a special category for Fux's Brian Kilmeade alone: "We are -- we keep marrying other species and other ethnics ... the Swedes have pure genes. Because they marry other Swedes ... Finns marry other Finns, so they have a pure society."


Whoa.

Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

The Morally Bankrupt Party of Permanent Irrelevance continues its string of inaccurate comparisons, this time saying the military coup in Honduras to oust leftist President Zelayais no different from Al Franken winning the election.

"On what basis does the Administration demand Zelaya's reinstatement?" coup-supporter Jim DeMint asked. "His removal from office was no more a coup than was Gerald Ford's ascendance to the Oval Office, or our newest colleague Al Franken's election to the Senate."

Idiot.

Syph-ridden tranny oozing again

Herpes-infested skank mAnn Coulter at towndump.com phones in an imaginary conversation with a "liberal" (Cunter's stuff in boxes):

Sarah Palin has deeply disappointed her enemies. People who hate her guts feel she's really let them down by resigning. She's like the ex-girlfriend they're SO over, never want to see again, have already forgotten about -- really, it's O-ver -- but they just can't stop talking about her.

{Oh, gee, why does that sound so fucking familiar? But... but... Bill Clinton!} Just like the drooling, like totally non-sexist dittospanks on the right. Oh, and we don't hate her. We think she's a laugh-riot. Everytime she goes on the air she just continues to prove how completely imbecilic you all are for supporting her.

Liberal: Ha, ha ... Sarah who? She's over, she's toast, a future Trivial Pursuit answer, nothing more.

Lim-bot: Wuh? Them evil libs are trashing Sarah again!!!!1! That Stain guy sitting in for Rush is gonna be so pissed!!!11!!

Normal person: Whatever. How about the North Korean missiles?

Lim-bot: Oooh, them guys on Fox are ripping into Demoncrats for ripping into Sarah!!1!! OK, now Hussein Obama is destroying th' country! Heh, they just said Pelosi got more botox! That Spanish chick of Osama's a racist! How come they're not talkin' bout the teabagging parties??!? Yeah, Obama is anti-Christian for nixing a military flyover at a religious event! Why does he hate our troops? Hey, that blonde anchor is hot! She wuz on Glenn Beck last night talking about how that Muslim's destroying America. Oh, hey, new poll: Should Michael Jackson be the butter sculpture at the Iowa State Fair? Let's freep it!

Liberal: Can you believe she just resigned the governorship like that? What a quitter!

Lim-bot: She didn't quit, she's taking a freedom-leave to concentrate on the future of the country! You're just trashing her 'cause she's hot!

Normal person: Speaking of quitting, how's work?

'Normal person' who ISN'T a figment of the insane harpy's imagination: You wouldn't know a normal person if one came up to you and kicked you in the balls, fuckwit. Here, let me illustrate... No? Sure, the economy sucks -- thanks to eight years of your asshole buddies being in charge and running everything into the ground. President Obama has been in office a mere six months. And as for the North Korean missiles, let me just say bwaaaaaaa! Nice try.

Liberal: Did you hear she might get a TV show? There's no way Sarah Palin's getting a TV show! No way! I can't believe stupid Sarah Palin could get her own stupid TV show now. Well, I'm sure not gonna watch it -- that's for sure!

Lim-bot: Well, I am!!! She'll be great! She'll be better'n Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly combined!1!!!

'Normal' liberal person: Sigh. Will she use a teleprompter so she doesn't sound so fucking stupid?

Normal person: Have you seen all the Michael Jackson coverage on TV?

Exactly. And John and Kate, whoever they are, and whatever else idiots like your knuckledragging followers watch when they're not getting brainwashed by the gpuke propaganda nutwork.

The truth is liberals are furious they won't have Sarah Palin to kick around anymore.

Ummm, she may not be a governor any more, but she'll be around for a long while, I'm sure. C*nt.

An asshole walks into a bar...

Norm!

The Minnesota GOP has sent a check to Senator Al Franken for almost $96,000 to partially reimburse him for defending the election contest under the state's "loser pays" law.

LOL

Cashin' Cari-bou Barbie

Firebreathing liberal David Frum: "Sarah Palin quit to cash in. Her admirers can excuse anything, but to the much larger audience of non-admirers, Palin will look a lot like those CEOs who wrecked their banks and the national economy while accepting huge bonuses for themselves personally. John McCain's slogan in 2008 was "Country First." Palin's in 2012? "I seen my opportunities, and I took 'em."

"He has no credibility left"

Bathe her... then bring her to me: Adulterous married rethug not only used other woman as fucktoy, the homewreaker was wife of his best friend.

Midway through a nine-month extramarital affair with a member of his campaign staff, Sen. John Ensign (R-Nev.) wrote his lover a letter that has been published by the Las Vegas Sun.

"I used you for my own pleasure," Ensign wrote to his mistress Cindy Hampton, the wife of a friend, "not letting thoughts of you, Doug, Brandon, Blake or Brittany come into my mind."

And those are probably just his pet spaniels. Won't somebody think of the children??

“I justified my actions because I blamed my wife. Doug has been a great friend to me over the years + I threw all of that away over wanting to feel good.”

So let's see... the adulterous married rethug not only used another woman as a fucktoy, he also fucked over his friend, his kids, the Baby Jeebus, and his wife, seemingly a sexless termagant with a home-perm kit in one hand and a rolling-pin in the other. Gotcha. But wait, it gets better:

The sex scandal engulfing Repuglican Sen. John Ensign has deepened now that his former mistress's husband, his former mistress's husband's cousin, and his former mistress's husband's best friend's wife have revealed new details about the relationship, saying the Nevada Republican paid his former mistress more than $25,000.

The letter and cuckolded sap Doug Hampton's interview on Wednesday mark another embarrassment for Ensign, a 51-year-old Christian conservative. In addition, the severance payment could pose campaign finance or ethics issues for him.

Bonus: another rethug Senator may have recommended paying the couple off. In MILLIONS:

Hampton also detailed a February 2008 meeting in which he, Sen. Tom Coburn, R-Okla., and others encouraged Ensign to end the affair, as well as the working relationship with the Hamptons. Hampton said Coburn and others tried to encourage Ensign to compensate the couple and help them relocate.

"These men were the ones that said, 'What we need to do is get Doug Hampton's home paid for, and we need to get Doug Hampton some money. We need to get his family to Colorado,'" Hampton said in the interview.

John Hart, a spokesman for Coburn, would not comment directly on the specific advice that Coburn gave Ensign.

Values.

Update: Tom Coburn refused to comment today on his part in the John Ensign affair scandal -- by claiming doctor/priest privilege: "I was counseling him as a physician and as an ordained deacon. ... That is privileged communication…"

Scumbag.

You Betcha! (Wink)

New from the Urban Dictionary:
Pullin' a Palin

	1. Quitting when the going gets tough; abandoning the responsibility entrusted to you by your neighbors for book advances and to make money on the lecture circuit. 2. Bizarre move that will damn ambitions for higher office. I bet when people saw Jade they were convinced that David Caruso was pullin' a Palin. quitter sarah palin roberto duran king edward viii richard nixon

Yesterday's pic, embiggened.

Contemptible jerkwad deposed in US Attorney probe

Porculant douchenozzle Karl Rove was deposed Tuesday by the House Judiciary Committee, according to Rep. John Conyers (D-Mich.), the panel's chairman.

Rove's deposition began at 10 a.m. and ended around 6:30 p.m, with several breaks to supply the blubberly liar with fresh souls. Conyers would not comment on what Rove told congressional investigators, what the next step in the long-running investigation would be, whether Rove would face additional questioning, or whether the Dems would do as they've always done and fold like a house of cards, the fucking jellyfish.

Nothing to see here, move along

Imagine if a liberal blogger had posted this during the Bush/Cheney reign:

"My advice to democracy lovers everywhere: If you’re going to overthrow a strongman, kill him.”

He'd be visited by the SS, held for interrogation, put on the no-fly list, audited by the IRS, and unrelentlessly stalked by the unhinged nutbars on the right. But this was posted by conservaturd prick Glenn Reynolds, with no explanation whatsoever (the blog he copied it from was discussing Zelaya and Chavez -- and the "insanity of this policy by the Obama administration"), so its perfectly OK.

HuffPo hires the Froomster!

Glenn Greenwald gives us the good news:

In yet another sign of how online media outlets are strengthening as their older establishment predecessors are struggling to survive, The Huffington Post has hired Dan Froomkin to be its Washington Bureau Chief and regular columnist/blogger. Froomkin will oversee a staff of five reporters and an assistant editor, guide The Huffington Post's Washington reporting, and write at least two posts per week to be featured on its main page and Politics page.

Clearly, journalism itself is not dying. What is dying -- and rightfully so -- is the staid, establishment-serving, access-desperate, mindless stenographic model to which establishment journalism rigidly adheres.

Which is a nice way of saying 'in your FACE, neocon rethug propagandist fuckheads! And fuck you!'

ABA gives Sotomayor highest rating

The American Bar Association joined the American Basketball Association and the American Boxing Association in giving Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor its highest rating in a unanimous decision, thrilling the Obama administration.

"The Bush White House, remember, famously discarded the ABA recommendation system," CBS News chief legal analyst Andrew Cohen said helpfully, after the organization ranked all of Bush's nominees as obsequious, talentless political hacks.

A spokesman for the ABA told the UP that they are already bracing for the inevitable catcalls of 'lieberal activist judges!' by legions of knuckledragging Lim-bots, saying "These assholes are so goddamn stupid they'd fuck their own mothers, if they could get it up."

Perceived whine

Maureen Dowd takes a peek at Mooselini's 'secret diary':

The governor of Alaska has resigned -- and how sad it is that the unpatriotic, godless media that is picking away at her will never understand it’s about country.

Kathleen Parker from the Wahh!Poo weighs in:

When you're up to your waders in barracuda, blame the media. And quit your job. And say you did it for the people. And hire an agent. And try to keep a straight face. Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public, H.L. Mencken once said. If only he were alive to witness the phenomenon of Sarah Palin, whose biography validates every cynical thought that ever found expression in his prolific prose.

Yes, we liberals are so very, very scared of this woman.

GOP candidates in Va., NJ wary of Palin

Blithering drama-queen may do more harm than good, say panicking pols.

Sarah Palin's decision to step down as governor was driven in part by her wish to help Republican candidates across the country, associates say.

Oh, and to step away from the limelight and notoriety. And to spend more time with her family. And because God told her to. And because all the ethics investigations were costing an arm and a leg. And because the people of Alaska blah blah blah. And because the evil, Godless liberals were attacking her children everytime she dragged them onstage as props.

But in New Jersey and Virginia, both of which have competitive governors' races this year, the prospect of a visit from the imbecilic bumpkin has so far drawn a muted response from the GOP contenders in both states.

And by 'muted' they mean 'oh hell NO!!!'

Palin, a very polarizing figure, remains a decidedly mixed bag politically. While she remains wildly popular with mattress-soiling Rushbots, she's held in contempt by many Democrats and has had little success winning over independents, who make up a growing share of voters in many states.

In fact, a polling survey of Virginia voters found that Palin's selection as vice president made independents not only vomit copiously, but led to a majority sticking salad forks in their eyes at the very idea of voting Republican.

Drinky McDumbass, rewriting history

After eight years and two wars, Commander Codpiece is still trying to disprove the notion that his penis is even smaller than his brain.

In what respect, Charlie?

Asked whether she notified her former running mate in advance of her resignation announcement, Sarah Failin was as articulate as ever:

“Didn’t tell him I was going to do this, but he is very astute, he is very sharp, he knew too that the distractions in the state -- he knows me well enough to know that I am wired to not want to waste any time or any kind of resource. I want to get the job done.”

Hurrrrr? Governing Alaska is a waste of time? And didn't she just contradict herself?? Its hard to tell. Doesn't matter, though: when she's preznit, the "Dept. of Law" will protect her:

[ABC News’ Kate] Snow asked Palin whether, if she runs for president, she could avoid the “political blood sport” she cited as among the reasons she wanted to leave office.

“I don’t think it will be the day after day after day of ethics violation charges that are frivolous, that are ridiculous. I think on a national level your department of law there in the White House would look at this, the things we have been charged with, and automatically throw them out, not make somebody hire their own personal attorney to get out there and fight.”

There is no “department of law” at the White House.

Automatically throw them out? Anyhoo, she may also need 'em to defend her against the gotcha, victimizing lieberals of... Faux Nooze? --

Fox News has started to turn on Sarah Palin. In the midst of a segment about the Alaska Governor's battle against "liberal" attacks, Liz Trotta went off-message:

Frankly, "the woman is inarticulate, undereducated," Trotta said, arguing that for once liberal criticism was "well-deserved."

"I think all the liberal stylists ... really have a case. She just begs for adjectives like flaky and wacky." When pressed, she added, "We're talking about somebody who, right from the get-go, has been a flashy person who gets into a lot of trouble and really has no credentials for any job."

Another day, another ethics charge

"Within days of resigning from office, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin (R) is facing a new ethics complaint, accusing her of continuing to ask for reimbursement for travel expenses for staying in her own home..."

Blogger discovers new cloud type

Well, maybe. This was the sky outside my cube this afternoon -- pretty awesome! Anyone know what they're called? Besides Ominous Bands of Doom?

So Much for THAT

We inturrupt the 24/7 coverage of Michael Jackson with this breaking bulletin:

The American Bar Association has awarded Judge Sonia Sotomayer its highest rating. Rushthuglibots denounce activist, liberal, fascist, socialist, commie organization as a bunch of trial lawyers who represent ACORN!!!!

From the Ministry of Moron

Middle school civics, Mooselini style:

“I think on a national level, your department of law there in the White House would look at some of the things that we’ve been charged with and automatically throw them out,” she said.

There is no “Department of Law” at the White House.

How long will this bullshit steam and fester before the "liberal media" quits trying to over-analyze her super-secret strategy and just come to the realization that she is simply a Rushthuglibot idiot?

See Ya!!!

I'm not a quitter.

When you need to relax QUICKLY

The world's fastest sauna.


Thanks to Nick for the link!

Let the rightwingnut circlejerk begin

Some blithering assmunch at inhumanevents.cum takes pen(is) in hand and writes, to the rising chorus of moans from Troglotardia:

Nothing better demonstrates the fact that Gov. Sarah Palin's on a roll than harrumphing experts declaring that she's finished.

Dude, I.... She walked off the job and away from her constituents without even completing one term in office. Yeah, she's on a roll. Like yesterday's fish filet. Barracuda a la mort. Au merde.

If resigning the Alaska governorship to fire-up and re-build the conservative movement into a 50-state constituency by laying into Obama and campaigning heavily for GOP candidates up and down the rungs of government is such a career-ender, why are libbies running in circles, shouting and yelling in panic?

I think by "panic" you mean "raucous laughter and high-fives." Dumbass. Plus I 'm pretty sure she said she was getting sick of the notoriety and wanted to spend more time with her family. Though I guess campaigning heavily across the country is a good place to do that. Idiot.

Liberals claim Palin's decision to unshackle herself ...

Make that "cut and run from the position she swore to uphold when she took her oath of office," you cretinous fuck.

... is 'puzzling,' 'bewildering,' 'confounding,' dumbfounding' 'befuddling,' 'mystifying,' 'perplexing,' 'mind-boggling,' etc., then they immediately proceed to explain what her motives were. Two seconds later, they're back to being 'bewildered,' 'puzzled,' 'befuddled,' 'confounded' -- in other words, their normal state of mind.

Uh-huh. Yeah, firebreathing liberals such as

Roger Simon
Richard Cohen (WaComPo)
Ed Rollins
The USA Toady editorial board
Chuck Grassley
David Frum
Anne Applebaum (WaComPo)
NoozeMax
Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski

If she can't face the media, how is she going to be able to stand up to al Qaeda?
Oh right, you really can't BOMB the media. ** snort **

Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Whether you need a laugh or just need to get your blood moving, you can always count on the nose-excavating autofellators at freeretard.com. Here, they argue over a piece at the ironically-named americanthinker:

Constitution apparently declared optional by Obama administration (Grounds for impeachment brewing)

Evidence continues to accumulate that President Obama regards the Constitution's requirements as merely suggestions...

Bum bum bummmmmm! Funny, I never heard that kind of talk when the Dictator-tot and his cronies were in charge, illegally spying on US citizens, torturing, and using the Constitution as their own personal buttwipe.

When the massacre begins, he needs to be the first to be tried for disobeying what he swore to protect, our Constitution.

Can we cut throught the bullshit for a second? Has there been an administration in the last 50 years that has viewed the Consitution as anything other than optional?

Why do you want to obfuscate the matter like that? -1bama is a Kenyan-born Manchurian President and here you are defending him by saying "They all do it."

{ } has a poi...

**** CARRIER LOST ****

Massacre? Sounds like rightwingnut extremism to me! TERRORIST!!!!
Oh, wait: IOKIYAR.

"I am not a quitter"

... says the moron who just quit her job.

Cutting-and-running like a cheese-eating surrender-monkey is the new patriotism. IYAR.

What can you say about a public official who ridicules those who would take the "quitter's way out" -- as she faces reporters to announce that she's quitting? A governor who claims that "the worthless, easy path" would be to serve out the remaining 18 months of her term? An ambitious politician who says that "life is too short" to worry about, you know, boring things such as responsibility or duty?

-- Eugene Robinson, one of the last remaining free-thinkers at the Wah!Poo.

Palin misread the commitment implied by taking an oath of office, and needed a break after being "on duty now for two and a half years solid." But that's no reason voters shouldn't trust her with the presidency. You betcha.

Profiles in courage

After nearly four hours of deliberation, horse-dealing, wife-swapping and multiple rounds of balloting, the South Carolina rebooblican party voted Monday night to censure adulterous cretin Mark Sanford for leaving the state, his wife and his kids and traveling overseas to visit his mistress.

22 members voted to formally reprimand Sanford. Ten others voted to ask him to resign, while nine voted to support him.

Of course they did.

The resolution censured Sanford for conduct that demonstrated "repeated failures to act in accordance" with the party's core principles and beliefs and also reprimanded the governor for "falling below the standards expected of Republican elected officials."

Bwahahahaha! Yeah, he committed adultery with a woman. ** Snicker **

Sanford might have survived a state probe last week into his travel, but plenty of his fellow Republicans say they are still hearing from unhappy constituents...

... especially those living near the Appalachian Trail who now feel they are just a tawdry punchline thanks to yet another stupid, possibly criminal action by a repuglican politician.

God bless Amurikkka

Give me your tired, your poor, and I'll forcibly mass-deport them at gunpoint.

"Joe" "The Plumber" says immigrants should get ‘the hell out of our damn country’

While attention-whoring at Houston’s 4th of July tea-bagging party, Joe Wurzelbacher -- of the Native American 'Numbfuk' tribe, apparently -- opened his drooling yap-hole, to cheers from the packs of white supremacists and neo-Nazi hate groups working the room.

WURZELBACHER: "I believe we need to spend a little more on illegal immigrants. Get them the hell out of our damn country and close the borders down. We can do it. We’ve got the greatest military in the world and you’re telling me we can’t close our borders? That’s just ridiculous."

Ironically, Plumber's Helper Wurzelbacher, whose grandparents did not come over as penniless refugees seeking work & freedom, was there to urge the government to “pull its head out of its butt.”

GOP values

Private "dove hunts," 'swank night life, tony shops and world-class restaurants,' private helicopter rides, private pussy hunts: "Penny-pinching" Gov. Sanford used taxpayer money to live large during visits to his Argentine mistress. A woman the erstwhile fiscal conservatard evidently nicknamed 'Penny,' since that's the only thing that makes any kind of sense here.